Thanks for Being There and for Caring

One the best gift anyone can receive is the gift of a relationship with another person. This is especially so when that someone is a loving, generous, kind, gracious, forgiving, supportive, nurturing, strong, loyal, sensitive and confident person. And if you have more than one person in your live that has several of these qualities then you are truly blessed. And if you have someone with many of the qualities that you know intimately then you are adding blessings on blessings. Add to these human relationships a deep, intimate and meaningful relationship with God and you have a wonderful existence indeed.

Have you been paying attention to the people who are closest to you? Have you noticed their love, care and support? Have you thanked God for the blessing they are in and for your life? We often fail to recognize just how much these people mean to us and how much of a rare and special gift they are. We often forget to look around us to see the people that nurture and care for us. When life is busy or too routine we forget to pay attention to those who care for us, who are there for us. I know I am guilty of this on a far too regular basis. Everyone needs to know that their efforts make a difference especially those we love.

What is true for my relationships with others is also true of my relationship with God. Sometimes I take for granted that God is there and that God cares. I just expect it. I don't notice all that God does for me and I sure don't share my appreciation for the gift of our relationship. It’s like God is required to love me so why does it matter if I say “thank you” or not? While this may be true (I believe that God loves all creation equally, all people without regard to religion, belief system or life choices) it still is important to say thank you to God because it means you are paying attention, that you understand how much God brings to your relationship. Telling God thanks means you are aware of all that God means to you and that you know you are a more complete and better person for God’s being accepted into your life.

My basic theological take on why God decided to bring this crazy and often messed up universe into being is that God wanted to be more than what God was. And the only way to be more was to be in a relationship with another. So God had to create something that was truly, completely other and then allow this other to have freedom of choice so that they could choose to be in a relationship with God. Now the surprising thing is that whether the other choose to be in relationship or not, God would become more than what God was because God would have another. We were created for relationship with God and with one another. A human being cannot survive completely by itself. After a certain period of time they will just stop caring and die. The length of time someone can exist totally alone varies but if left alone, without companionship you will die.

And I know that the better the relationships one has the better life is. Quality relationships guarantee that you will have a quality life. Notice that I did not say an easy life. Nothing can bring about an easy life. Life is hard. And life is too hard to live alone. So the more quality relationships you have the better equipped you are for having a full life. And if you have a quality relationship with God that makes your life even better, something more.

Jesus commanded us to love one another. Jesus told us that all that God wants from us is to love God, love ourselves and love our neighbors. Said in a different way, Jesus has requested that those who claim his name and want to follow his path will be in meaningful, deep and intimate relationships with one another and with God. He taught us that all God wants from us is to be in a deep, meaningful and intimate relationship with God, ourselves and others. As the scribe said to Jesus (Mark 12:33) quality relationships, loving each other and God, are "much more important than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices" we could ever bring to God.

Faithful people make a point of recognizing those people that are important to them and who love and care for them. They also thank these people for being there and for caring. Thanking the people in our lives for their love and care is important. They are the ones that will see you through. Those we care about, those that care about us, those we love, those that love us, those that nurture us and those we nurture, those we support and those who support us, those people that help us not only survive but thrive are the people that bring us life. They are the ones that see us through, hold on to us, and push us forward. They are the ones that give meaning to our days. So say "Thank you!" to them. Show them you appreciate all they do and are for you. They are the true treasure in your life.

So we celebrate all the people who make up our lives. We offer prayers of thanksgiving and praise for them. We promise to thank them for being there and for caring. We also celebrate our relationship with God, all the ways we experience God, all the ways God is known in our lives. We offer a prayer of thanks to God for being with us, for caring for us and for loving us. We celebrate as well all the opportunities we have to share love and show our love to those we don't yet know or don't know well; especially those Jesus calls our neighbors.

So remember to say thank you to the ones that love you. They are the ones that will see you through. And don't forget to include God in your thanks. Faithful people say thank you!

Thanking God for Everything!

Back in 1970 Lynn Anderson released a recording of a Joe Smith song “Rose Garden.” It contains the line, “I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine there’s gotta be a little rain sometime.” When Ms. Anderson was interviewed about the popularity of the song she said, “I believe that 'Rose Garden' was released at just the right time. People were trying to recover from the Vietnam years. The message in the song — that if you just take hold of life and go ahead, you can make something out of nothing — people just took to that." I think she was talking about how to handle disappointments and discouragement in life. I have never really had it bad. I am among the most privileged people in the world. I am a white male of the middle class with an advanced degree and I live in the United States. I have had quality health care, dental care and education all my life; I have had all my shots and had access to good clean water all of my days. I have never wanted for shelter, love or companionship. I get 30 days of paid vacation a year and have the resources to spend it in places like Disneyland. I have a family without major problems and a wife who for some reason loves me even after 29 years together. I am the envy of billions of people and have nothing really to complain about. I am blessed. Now you would think that all that would somehow guarantee my happiness. You would wonder how I could ever feel disappointed or discouraged. You would think it impossible that I would sometimes find my life lacking. You would doubt how I could ever feel short changed or unloved or sorry for myself. You would question my sanity if I were to talk about being dissatisfied. You would speculate that I was not paying attention if I were to moan and bemoan my life. You would find it unimaginable that I would think I desired more. And you know what, you would be right. But still I do feel these ways at times. When I am dodging the curveballs of life I sometimes slip and fall into the pit of self-pity and despair. I sometimes do feel that life is out of control and I am a victim of forces to great to manage. And now it’s time for the truth. I feel these things, these ways. My feelings are valid. But when I feel life is too hard it isn’t to say that my life is hard like the life of a refugee in a tent city of 100,000 with no fresh water, handy food sources, health care or sanitation. And you know what; I often have to remind myself of the difference. I need to stop in my self-pity and disappointments and count my blessing. I need to stop and thank God for what I have and what I have been blessed with. I never have to feel badly about my feelings but I cannot let my situation, however painful or discouraging it truly is, gloss over the extreme suffering of most of the people in this world. Most of us don’t stop to think about how many gifts we have received and continue to receive. We don’t concentrate on how blessed our lives are. We often don’t bring our thanks to God in prayer. Why not? I think it is because it is far easier to count suffering and losses. It is somehow understood as acceptable to bemoan your tragedies and discouragements. It is ok to whine about disappointments. We all want to have people’s empathy and sympathy. Besides, when life is going along fine we don’t notice what we’ve got. As another song of the 1970’s said “You never know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.” And most of us don’t think much about the blessings of our lives until we are at risk of losing them. Like the people of God who were saved from slavery in Egypt and led by God into the wilderness who forgot how blessed they were when they allowed their need for control and security to overcome their faith (Exodus 17:1-7). We must keep from whining to and quarrelling with God when our lives hit the rough spots. God is there to hear our pain and hold us in our suffering but God is also there refreshing us and reminding us that our blessings have saved us in the past and will save us again. As faithful people we understand that everything is God’s and that we have been given all creation as a gift to use wisely and prudently to see that all creation is cared for, nurtured and that all people have enough. We know that all we have is a gift and that one of our primary tasks is to offer God our thanks and praise. As a 1970’s play reminded us “All good gifts around us, are sent from heaven about. Then thank the Lord, O thank the Lord for all His love.” (The musical Godspell here is a link to a YouTube video of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_155n8qPd9A.) And we all know that we learn so much more about ourselves, others and the world from the tough times and the disappointments then from easy and comfort. We know that even the things that cause us the most hurt and grief are blessings when we move beyond them and realize that they too have brought meaning to our days. We must remember to pray the simple prayer “Thank you.” And we need to prompt ourselves with the knowledge that because of our blessings, our gifts we are to lift others up. Lift them from poverty, despair, anguish and suffering. Lift them from despicable, inhumane situations. Let them from their pain, loneliness, and discouragement. Our blessings are not meant for ourselves alone. They are given for the good of all. We are blessed so that others can be blessed by us. It really isn’t about what you’ve got; it’s about how you use what you’ve been given and the attitude you have when receiving and giving. The most moving stories are those where someone who has nothing can find a way to give – from the meager blessings of their lives they still can bless another and offer thanks for what they have and what they can give. So we are reminded once again of what it means to be faithful and that part of faithful living is counting your blessings and being thankful to God for all the good gifts you receive and using those gifts to lift others up. We need to make it a daily, hourly part of our lives to say, “Dear God, thanks for everything.” So I ask you, what do you have to thank God for? What blessings do you enjoy? What blessing can you identify that you want to offer a sincere and meaningful “thank you” to God? Take a moment now to count your blessings and then speak your blessing aloud for God and the world to hear. Dear God, thanks for everything! Amen.

Remember to Say Thank You

I have two stories I want to share about saying thank you. The first is how I was raised. My mom forced us to be polite; to say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me” and all the rest of the social niceties. Whether or not you really felt grateful for something, wanted to receive what was offered, or liked what had taken place you said “thank you.” The second story is from my time in Boston when I was in seminary. I rode the “T”, the mass transit system to and from just about everywhere. I didn’t notice at first how people treated each other on the “T” mostly because I was so focused upon making sure I knew when to get off. But once I got comfortable with riding it I began to notice how people where indifferent or even rude to one another. I also noticed how people reacted when without realizing it my mom’s training kicked in and I said “thank you.” People stopped caught off guard and even a bit confused. They weren’t sure what I was doing or why. They then either smiled and replied “You’re welcome.” Or just slipped back into their Bostonian mindset and stomped away. Once I noticed this I made a point of saying “thank you” as often as I could. I like to think that in that busy, hurry-up, anonymous and often impersonal world of the “T” my saying “thank you” brought - however briefly - a moment of joy, connection, humaneness, or human-kindness to a person and to their day. I went online to a parenting forum and found out that parents today aren’t as willing to force the issue of politeness on their children as my mom was. Two comments are representative of what I found: • ”I don't force them, no. I don't sit there and hold back what they want until they say it, I don't think that's right. I use "Please" and "Thank You" in everything I ask of them, even when I'm reprimanding them. And my oldest has already started to say it back to me when he asks for stuff. He's two. I find it's a lot easier to model the behavior and have them follow suit then to bully them into it.” • “I ENCOURAGE please and thank you -- and demonstrate having nice manners myself, but force it? No.” And my daughter and her husband subscribe to this way of thinking. Which I find a little hard to stomach, again because my mom’s programming kicks in and if I’m honest because I used force on my kids and don’t want to admit I might have been wrong. But one thing I will not give up on is the simple fact that saying “thank you” matters. Why does saying thank you matter to me, you and others? Primarily I think it has to do with two things. First, we want to know that someone has noticed and appreciated what we have done for them, that what we have done matters. The second is that we like the feeling that comes with being thanked. What about saying “thank you” to someone else? We like to acknowledge a kindness or assistance given as a way of “paying the debt” we have incurred and we like to make the other person feel good about themselves and the effort they made on our behalf. And science backs me up on this. Jeremy Dean, a psychologist and writer of the award winning blog “PsyBlog” writes: According to positive psychologists, saying ‘thank you’ is no longer just good manners, it is also beneficial to the self. To take the best known examples, studies have suggested that being grateful can improve well-being, physical health, can strengthen social relationships, produce positive emotional states and help us cope with stressful times in our lives. But we also say thank you because we want the other person to know we value what they’ve done for us and, maybe, encourage them to help us again in the future. Since, for most of us, expressing our thanks is an everyday occurrence, we tend to think nothing of it. But psychologically it has a very important role to play for both the person giving and the person receiving. All four studies reveal that gratitude is more than just a social nicety, or a way of making the helper feel good; it reassures others their help was actually appreciated and it encourages further pro-social behavior. My favorite Biblical story about thank you is when Jesus heals the ten lepers (Luke 17: 11-19). Leprosy is a disease that causes a person’s skin to be covered in ulcers and disfigures and can cause the loss of fingers and toes. In Jesus’ day it made the infected a social outcast, ritually unclean and therefore an oppressed minority. Lepers lived on the fringes of society and were avoided and shunned. So in the story this group of lepers calls out to Jesus for mercy and without any other words or actions Jesus sends them to the priests where they are declared clean – healed. It is interesting to note that there is no talk of faith, no request for healing. The lepers’ aren’t praised for their righteous living and nowhere are we told of their sex, religious affiliation or nationality. They are ten lepers who ask for mercy and are healed; simple as that. Now this is where the story gets interesting; one leper realizes what has happened and he comes back to say “thanks.” And who is it that returns? It is a Samaritan. You know they are the hated, second-class, un-repentant black sheep cousins of the Jews who worship at the wrong place. This is a foreigner of the highest order who would normally give a Jew a wide berth because the dislike goes both ways. Those observing would have been shocked because Jesus has shown that God’s grace and love extends beyond their neat boundaries and comfy confines and faithful living means accepting the foreigner and loving them. But that’s not all, Jesus tells the Samaritan leper that “Your faith has healed and saved you.” What? Weren’t all the lepers healed? And a truth comes out; having a disease cured or an aliment corrected isn’t being healed. Healing is when the whole self – mind, body and spirit – is aligned and in harmony with God. And the only response we can have to this realigning, this return to harmony is to say “thanks.” Living faithful means saying thank you. It means saying thank you to God and to one another. We as a society and as a church don’t say thank you enough and we sure don’t let others say it to us. Faithful people need to practice saying thanks and being gracious – it can change the world. It’s up to us to be the people our world needs and one way we bring our faith to life is by thanking others for their kindness, their effort and their generosity. We say thank you! So, do you say thank you? Are there people you need to thank? When was the last time you thanked someone for the little things they do for you and others? Saying thank you matters to people and it helps make our world a more hospitable and kinder place. Besides, it makes you and the other feel good. It brings about wholeness and life. Jesus tells the Samaritan leper “Getup! Go on your way. Take your thanks and healing and live them out in your life’s journey.” Jesus tells us to say thanks to God for the gifts of grace and love and then show your thanks through the life you live. Faithful people say thanks. Remember to thank someone today. Thank you for reading this.

Welcome

You have found your way to my blog which focuses on my sermon from last Sunday. It is a place for you to read what I think and believe and have an opportunity to comment if you wish. I hope that this blog will deepen your relationship with God and open your heart, mind and spirit to the possibility of finding a way to live faithfully in your day to day life. Peace to you and God bless. Rev. Tim Overton-Harris